The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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