you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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