okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
