Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
