ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
