What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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