They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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