I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
