Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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