I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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