Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
