I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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