She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
