Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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