just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
