Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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