Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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