I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i out mim tonsoeep
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
