didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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