I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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