i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
