That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
