I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
