O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You took a bar mat shot.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
