How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
