just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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