Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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