she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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