Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
