the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
