Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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