Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My life is pants optional.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
