I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
FUCK WHALES
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
