I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
