i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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