Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
