Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
