I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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