yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
