My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
