I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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