But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
