He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
