this boner is exhausting
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
