Are we in a gay sports bar?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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