Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The beers last night were like the tears from god
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize