I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
