i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
