I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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