Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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